College Diaries #5: tis' the season!

Hello all and welcome to December!

How on earth is it December already?? That does not sit right with me personally. November flew by and now it'll be into the new year before we know it.

November was a month of spending time with lots of amazing people that filled me with energy to bring into December.

School:

November I was on that school GRIND!!! An absolute weapon if I do say so myself. After coming back from midterm break, school work is still amping up as we reach the last couple weeks of the semester. I did a few presentations and group projects this past month which produced some work I'm really proud of and led to me finding comfort in how I am perceived by others.

Something I've always struggled with, and that was proving to be a consistent anxiety throughout the last month, was how my classmates see me. I've been feeling like such a LOSERRRRR in class lately and I had to stay mindful and check the facts about what was actually occurring. Some may say I dress up a little too much for class which could be a reason I gained some stares, but that is not a bad thing! I have no regrets about that anymore. It inspired me to write my last post about being an 'It Girl.' Another thing to recognize is that I have a huge RBF, especially in class during lectures. But when I start working in groups and more directly with my peers, they're able to see more of my personality shine through and I become more approachable. Being mindful of my thoughts and judgements of myself benefit me by helping me regain confidence, even if it is hard or discouraging. I might get some odd stares, or sometimes my jokes might not land. Not everyone enjoys a curtsey in class for whatever reason. But that's ok!

Friends <3:

I have been so sentimental lately when it comes to the friendships in my life. Even with the friends I don't get to see often because we're at college, I think about them and appreciate them all the time. I'm looking forward to reunions over winter break. I've also been thinking about all the wonderful people who have come into my life from going to college and then transferring schools as well. Transferring schools was probably one of the best decisions I ever made. I have no regrets. St. Kate's was exactly where I needed to be as a first year, and transferring was exactly what I needed to do moving forward.

I'm so full of love for all my friends and smoochies right now! They make everyday worthwhile.

Thanksgiving:

Of course, November brings Thanksgiving. I not only got to return home and spend the holiday with my family, but also got to share gratitude with my friends at a Friendsgiving celebration as well as a Friendsgivingmaskah celebration. Good friends and good family and good food all brought together to remind us of what we are grateful for.

This post was quite sentimental and upbeat because that is truly the vibes I am feeling as I type this out. Overall though, life and healing is not linear and everyday is different. Maybe there is some beauty in that. I've been putting in effort to stay mindful with myself and do what I need on a given day. Looking forward into December, there is a lot of stress coming with the end of the semester and diving into the snowy months, but also excitement that I'm trying not to overshadow with anxiety.

The Christmas tree is up, topped with a star and the house is decorated for the holidays!

Until the new year with another College Diary, stay tuned for another couple posts leading into the holiday!

Stay warm!

<3 Lainey