So, do you still want to be a journalist?

At the end of the semester in my Multimedia Reporting class and before heading into the advanced class in the spring, my professor posed the question: "So, do you still want to be a journalist?"

This is a question I have asked myself over the years since I decided to pave my path as a journalist. Truly, it is not as easy as it may look. When I am working on a story, I get stressed about the set up work. Pitch meetings make me nervous, but it is something I've grown more comfortable with, and reaching out for interviews can be stressful with scheduling and requesting time from someone.

When my professor asked this question I had just switched story ideas for my final story and video package and was feeling the deadline pressure as I worked to get valuable footage and interviews. I thought to myself: "Can I really do this? Am I really able to handle this for the rest of my career? Will I even make it? Was going into this field the right choice?" Though those are potentially harmful judgements on myself, they are very real fears of mine that tend to loom over me.

"Can I really do this?"

Later that week I had an interview with the project manager in the Office of Sustainability for my story on the rise of second-hand shopping with college students. I was really nervous going into it. Partly because I was interviewing someone who is an authority figure and also because this was my first solo video interview with the full camera equipment. I picked up my camera, tripod and microphones from the media tech desk and went to set up in the student center. My interviewee arrived, we had some introductions, tested the clip on microphone, and the interview commenced.

One thing we learned in class about video interviews compared to interviews strictly for a text story, is that they are supposed to be conversational. I tried to execute that and truly had a great conversation with my interviewee. I got all my questions answered, plus additional soundbites, and bonding over the fact she graduated from the school I transferred from last year and we had the same professor. These extra pieces of conversation and creating a connection with staff on campus would not have happened if I had robotically read off the questions in my notebook.

To sum up a long story, as I cleaned up and walked home after my interview, I was able to answer the question that inspired this post: "So, do you still want to be a journalist?" My answer was: "You are damn right I do."

Conducting an interview like that reminded me why I am pursuing this career path: it is my passion.

I love talking to people. I love hearing what they have to say. I love learning new things. And I love telling stories.

Though there are aspects of producing a story that make me nervous or I am currently uncomfortable with, it is all worth it when I get to interview and write the story. And those nerve-racking steps are things that are just going to become less and less scary the more I do it and the more comfortable in my abilities and voice I get.

I want to be a journalist.

"Will I even make it?"

Looping back to the fear, "Will I even make it?" that I mentioned in the beginning of this post, this is another very real fear. When I think of making it in journalism, I tend to think you need to be extraordinary. Yes, I'm getting my degree in journalism specifically, but so are a lot of people, and we are all heading into an ever-changing world of media. That is a lot of pressure.

I had given my younger brother a piece of wisdom that I think I should also take for myself. He is a senior in high school this year and deciding which college he wants to study film at. I told him that with a major and chosen career like film, it matters less where he goes to school or what kind of degree he gets, but more the work he produces. His portfolio is what will set him apart. Getting his degree will teach him all sorts of beneficial skills for work in the industry, but it cannot teach him passion. And his passion is what will get him a career.

Though I am a writer and not a filmmaker, I think for my chosen study, as well as many others, the passion and work produced is what sets you apart. And I think that is what sets me apart.

So, I have decided that I will make it. I do have what it takes to be great. I just need to follow my passion and follow the stories I know I need to tell. With that, I'll end up where I am meant to. I am extraordianary.

"Was going into this field the right choice?"

Overall, my answer to this question is: yes, absolutely.

I definitely feel that journalism is the right path for me. It tends to fluctuate where exactly in the field I want to go, but journalism is certain.

Even so, I feel there is so much more I want to do. I want to be an artist, I want to write a novel, I want to open my own boutique, I want to be a stylist, I want to dance, I want to be a photographer, I want to study literature, I want to curate art, I want to run away into nature, I want to live all over the world, I want to do everything.

That can be overwhelming, especially when I've dedicated my study to journalism. However, I need to remind myself that the future is not set in stone. Things change and I don't know where I'll be in a couple years. At the very least I want to be able to dip my toes into each of these different dreams throughout my life.

I've started to integrate this a little bit even now. I've gotten re-inspired in my art and I'm taking a creative writing class this spring semester to not only dig into the novelist dream I've always had, but also to broaden my writing to compliment my journalist style.

It is difficult and levels of passion have ebbs and flows, but even in the down moments, it is my passion for the people and things around me that bring me back to life.

As I near the end of college in the next year or so, I feel more confident that yes, I do want to be a journalist. Yes, I can do it for the rest of my career. Yes, it was the right decision to pursue.

And of course, yes, I will make it.

<3 Lainey